Category: Coercive Control

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Coercive Control Domestic Violence False Allegations Gender Agenda Parental Alienation United Nations

Exposing UN Women’s Anti-Male Bias: Reem Alsalem to Visit the UK

Exposing UN Women’s Anti-Male Bias: Reem Alsalem to Visit the UK

 Domestic Abuse and Violence International Alliance

January 9, 2024

Reem Alsalem is a Jordanian international human rights advocate. Since August 2021 Alsalem has served as the United Nations Special Rapporteur on violence against women and girls, and is scheduled to visit the UK in early 2024. Alsalem was born in Egypt in 1976, and was educated at the American University in Cairo where she completed a master’s degree in International Relations in 2001. She subsequently graduated from Oxford in 2003 with a Masters degree in Human Rights Law.

In Womansgrid, Alsalem wrote: ‘Women and girls have a right to discuss any subject free of intimidation and threats of violence. This includes issues that are important to them, particularly if they relate to parts of their innate identity, and on which discrimination is prohibited. Holding and expressing views about the scope of rights in society based on sex and gender identity should not be delegitimised, trivialised, or dismissed.’

While most in the West would consider this to be self-evident, the UN Women’s social media posting tends to go in a different direction. Encouragement of women’s rights, activities, and achievements is frequently overshadowed by a thinly-veiled contempt for men. This puts high-minded ideas such as Alsalem’s in the shade of a controversy verging on provocation. It’s almost as if the ‘Special Rapporteur’ had no idea what was being done in her name from the UN’s marketing department.

Alsalem has also written: ‘In some cases, women politicians are sanctioned by their political parties, including through the threat of dismissal or actual dismissal’, an observation which could well be about Rosie Duffield of the UK Labour Party, who had been put under investigation for expressing such views.

Elsewhere, Alsalem has been dismissive of Parental Alienation (PA) as a psychological fact, obstreperous as it no doubt is to her wider mission, describing it as a ‘pseudo-concept.’ DAVIA has revealed,

“Ignoring the science, the UN Special Rapporteur submitted to the Human Rights Council a deeply flawed report, Custody, Violence Against Women and Violence against Children. The document refers to parental alienation as a ‘discredited and unscientific pseudo-concept,’ and recommends that countries should ‘legislate to prohibit the use of parental alienation or related pseudo concepts in family law cases.'”

We can point to numerous articles from John Barry, David Mottershead, Phil Mitchell, Mike Bell, and many more proving beyond doubt the veracity of the so-called ‘pseudo science’ of PA. But as is the way of current discourse, this evidence is dismissed at best, and attacked as biased at worst. The Parental Alienation Study Group said of the Alsalem report: ‘The Special Rapporteur literally had the resources of the whole world available to her to produce a solid report that represents the best of qualitative and quantitative research practices. The Report failed to accomplish that goal, and is deeply flawed.’

Everyone seems to have some skin in the game, and social media rewards entrenched binary positions, making it almost impossible to present mature, adult resolutions. Add to this the unlimited resources provided by VAWG (Violence Against Women and Girls) organisations and by the UN to continually drip their one-way – male-to-female – abuse narratives, and it is left to exasperated voices on Twitter to call out the relentless propaganda. The toxic bias is becoming easier and easier to spot, rewarded as it is by likes and reshares, all apparently without consequence.

In the UK, the case of Sally Challen brought out power-feminists in campaigning for the recently conceptualised ‘Coercive Control’ to become law. Challen had been given life for murder of her husband — reduced to manslaughter following this campaigning — due to his alleged coercive control being seen as a reasonable excuse for his wife’s hammer attack. The couple’s son David, who had turned to campaigning in support of his mother, has since become a media voice for the relentless promotion of coercive control as law.

As is often the case with unintended consequences, coercive control in law has established allegations of domestic abuse as 50/50 at best, going to majority female-incited when coercive control and psychological abuse is taken into account. This view is clearly unacceptable to the power-feminist’s VAWG monopoly.

The victimhood industry — along with the Andrew Malkinson Effect on the False Allegations Industry — continues to tank in terms of the public support and credibility it once enjoyed. Reem Alsalem continuing to freeze out dissenting voices to the biased VAWG narrative, permanently churned out by UN Women for the consumption by the catastrophically impressionable, needs itself to be called out.

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Coercive Control Parental Alienation

Murder Suicide and False Allegations at the Hands of Female Perpetrators

Murder Suicide and False Allegations at the Hands of Female Perpetrators

By Joan T. Kloth-Zanard

December 9, 2021

The statistics don’t lie, and nor do these three stories.  Men are abused at the same rate as women, the difference is that women are more likely to use a deadly weapon or poison to do it, while men are more likely to use physical abuse.  The one thing they have in common, is they both use psychological abuse at the same rate.  But this article is not about psychological abuse but about how women are just as likely and capable of harming their male partners and their children.

John Mast

John Mast was an alienated father who was murdered by his ex-father-in-law after being awarded joint custody of his children.  He spent years fending off false allegations of abuse and many other charges.  Finally, the courts found him not guilty and awarded him back joint custody.  On February 5, 2021, the day he was to pick his children up, he was gunned down by his ex-father-in-law.  John’s ex-wife had convinced her father that John was unsafe and a danger to his children.  John was gunned him down, in the back, in a parking lot, in front of his children and family. [04-23-2021, PASI (PAS Intervention & ISNAF (International Support Network of Alienated Families) Panel Discussion with Attorney Kevin Hickey]

Rod McCall

Like John Mast, Rod McCall, was a targeted father who spent years defending himself from false allegations of abuse and neglect.  Rod is a survivor of Parental Alienation but his son was not. In the course of his divorce, his ex-wife attacked his name, his reputation and accused him of a false crime. This resulted in his losing his job, getting arrested and having his publicly ridiculed on the local Dallas/Ft. Worth news stations. He was proven not guilty and after a weeklong jury trial, the mother was stripped of her parental rights. The three attorneys, Father’s, Mother’s and the Child’s, begged the judge to make the custody exchange at the courthouse, but the judge insisted on allowing the mother to go home and say her goodbyes. Before they realize it, the mother had left and gone home to do more than just say goodbye.  On October 21, 2011, she killed their son and herself less than an hour after the jury verdict was handed down. (04-23-2021, PASI & ISNAF Panel Discussion with Rod McCall)

Ray Reynolds

Now, let’s consider the case of Ray Reynolds, whose ex-wife and the female Guardian Ad Litem Attorney (GAL) for the child, accused him of sexually abusing his toddler daughter.  It cost him $250,000, the loss of his business and severe complex emotional trauma to prove his innocence and win back sole custody of his daughter.  But before he could get his daughter back, the GAL assisted the mother in illegally leaving the USA and going to Costa Rica with the child.  But his case could have gone seriously sideways if he had not had the funding to fight for his rights, along with the support of family and friends.  He also took the unprecedented brave step to go after the GAL by filing a massive grievance against her.  He had a massive amount of evidence which may have prevented him from being attacked with another false criminal allegation by the GAL.  Sadly, he still has not got his daughter back despite being awarded sole custody.  And the GAL was not held accountable for her actions because of her strong connections.  And while she has not taken any new GAL cases, this has not stopped this GAL from continuing to have parents and anyone who crosses her path falsely arrested and jailed. (Personal Conversations with Ray Reynolds since May 2015).

Conclusions

These three cases are nothing new, nor are they rare.  But for many parents, they know how dangerous the other parent can be and so they just give up because they fear being murdered or harmed or that their children will be.  They realize that the other parents’ wealth, political connections, and intense hatred for them, can buy them.  So, these parents back off to save themselves and the children they love.

This leaves us with a huge concern.  After all these decades of cases of coercive control and domestic violence by proxy, these horrific events are still occurring.  There seems to be a serious lack of proper training, education and understanding of the psychological dynamics involved in custodial interference cases, where incessant allegations of abuse occur.  And there seems to be a strong underworld like current with “Good Ol’ Attorneys” network to control family court cases.  With the majority of cases of alienation involving false allegations, this is a serious issue because it wastes time, money and resources necessary for true cases of abuse.  It also means that true victims end up  being ignored or harmed.

How can this be in a Child’s Best Interest? How can this be considered okay or even normal?  We need to fix our dysfunctional family courts and the agencies around them.  We need to stop the corruption and buying of officials.  We need to stop the Mob Mafia Good Ol’ Attorneys network that allows much of the false allegations and criminal charges.  But most important, we need to be able to better recognize which parents are a danger to themselves and others.

Citations for General Reference:

1. Coalition to End Domestic Violence, 2021, Thirty-Years of Domestic Violence Half-Truths, Falsehoods, and Lies Coalition to End Domestic Violence. www.EndtoDV.org A pre-publication copy of this Special Report was provided to the DOJ Office on Violence Against Women to assure the report’s factual accuracy. No reply was received from the OVW.

2. Harman, J. J., & Matthewson, M. (2020). Parental alienating behaviors. In D. Lorandos and W. Bernet (Eds.), Parental Alienation– Science and Law, pp. 82-141. Springfield, IL: Charles C Thomas Publisher.

3. Hines, D. A., & Douglas, E. M. (2018). Influence of intimate terrorism, situational couple violence, and mutual control on male victims. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 19, 612-623.

4. Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development. (2013). SF3.4: Family violence. Retrieved from https://www.oecd.org/els/soc/SF3_4_Family_violence_Jan 2013.pdf

5. Tolan, P., Gorman-Smith, D., & Henry, D. (2006). Family violence. Annual Review of Psychology, 57, 557-583

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Coercive Control Domestic Violence

What is Domestic Violence by Proxy?

What is Domestic Violence by Proxy?

By Joan T. Kloth-Zanard

September 12, 2021

Domestic Violence is the act of physically, psychologically or sexually using various methods, behaviors, comments and/or actions to coercively control another human being.  Coercive Controlling behaviors include but are not limited to any of the following.  (Taken from “Where Did I Go Wrong?  How Did I Miss the Signs? Dealing with Hostile Aggressive Parenting and Parental Alienation, 2nd Edition” by Joan Kloth-Zanard, p. 16-19)

  • Rejecting
  • Terrorizing
  • Corrupting
  • Denying essential stimulation, emotional responsiveness, or availability
  • Unreliable and inconsistent parenting
  • Mental health, medical, or educational neglect
  • Degrading/devaluing
  • Isolating
  • Exploiting

 

Let’s take this a bit further in its application. When a parent REJECTS a child because the children show any love or affection for the Targeted Parent that is a form of abuse.  This is not only a form of rejection, but terrorization.  In fact, a child’s refusal to come to the Targeted Parents home for fear of losing the Alienating Parent’s conditional love is fear and fear is terror.

Next, there is corrupting.  When an Alienating parent refuses to comply with court orders and tells the children they do not have to either, this is corrupting.  It is teaching the children that they are above the law and therefore immune to the court’s authority.  When a parent files false allegations of abuse and convinces the children to do the same, this is corruption. When an Alienating parent tells the children lies about the Targeted Parent, and that anything having to do with the Targeted Parent is illegal, immoral and disgusting, this is corrupting.  In fact, this is a form of discrimination and prejudice, which corrupts the children’s minds.

Next, let’s look at Denying essential stimulation, emotional responsiveness, or availability.  By refusing to allow the children to have a relationship with the Targeted Parent, for no reason other than their own need to control the ex-spouse, the Alienating Parents are denying them the basic elements of stimulation, emotions and availability with the Targeted Parent. In fact, the Targeted Parent has little to no opportunity to defend themselves against the false allegations. Though they will have you believe that they or the children feared for their lives and that the Targeted Parent was abusive, this is usually unsubstantiated or proven by the courts to be a fabrication. With no basis for this denial, the Alienator refuses their children a warm and loving relationship with the Targeted Parents.  Thus, it causes unreliable and inconsistent parenting.  Since the children have been denied a relationship with the Targeted Parent, they have also been denied a reliable and consistent parenting situation and the Alienating Parent has proven that they cannot parent consistently and reliably in the supporting of a two-parent relationship with the children.

This brings us to the Mental, medical and Education Neglect.  When an Alienating Parent refuses to comply with numerous separate court orders for counseling, they are denying their children’s mental health.  Thus, mental neglect has occurred as defined in the DSM IV as Malingering. (V65.2) and by Neglect of Child (V61.21).

If despite numerous court orders or request and recommendations, the alienator continues to insult, verbally abuse and denigrate the child’s Targeted Parent in front of them, this behavior degrades and devalues someone the children once respected and loved and in most cases, secretly want a relationship with.  This disdain and disrespect for the Targeted Parent in front of the child(ren) is another form of Psychological Maltreatment as it permanently affects their view of that Targeted Parent, which transfers to their view of themselves.   This creates a distorted sense of reality, of themselves and their ability to trust and accurately judge others.

When a parent deliberately sabotages a relationship with the Targeted Parent by refusing to allow visits, calls, or any form of healthy communication, with no evidence of abuse, this is called Isolation.  Furthermore, when a parent has initially allowed continuous contact with the children during the separation and divorce period, but reneges on this refusing them visitation, especially when they find out their ex-spouse has a new partner, this is isolation and abuse.  This is also called Remarriage as a Trigger for Parental Alienation Syndrome and can be further reviewed in an article by Dr. Richard Warshak, There is no doubt this is isolation and thus psychological abuse.  (http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/warsha00.htm)

And finally, EXPLOITATION.  When a parent uses the children as pawns to get back at their ex-spouse for not loving them anymore or to control them further, this is exploitation and Domestic Violence by Proxy.  When an Alienating Parent uses the children and makes false allegations of abuse, terrorizing the children to state they hate the Targeted Parent, this is exploitation.  When a parent uses the children for monetary gains, but yet does not allow the children a relationship with the targeted parent, this is exploitation.

When you add all these factors up, it is easy to see how Cross-Generational Coalitions, Parental Alienation, Parental Alienation Syndrome, Enmeshed Relationships, Triangles and Borderless Boundaries can be classified as Psychological Maltreatment or abuse.

But what happens when the perpetrator wants to abuse someone but they no longer have a direct contact with that person or wish to remain anonymous about their revenge?  Then they use something called Domestic Violence by Proxy.

‘By Proxy’ means using a substitute or alternate way through someone or something else.  In the case of DV, it is would related to doing harm to another through someone or something else.  For example, if your children or your extended family and friends are vitriol and nasty, parroting whatever the other person says, this is DV by Proxy as they are using these people to sling harmful and hurtful insults and psychological trauma.  If a person such as a child comes to your home and is destructive or violent toward the other person/parent, this is domestic violence by proxy as it uses the children to exact their revenge and anger.  Basically, the aggressive person brainwashes and programs others into a cult of hatred, anger and rage toward the other person.

Another example is false allegations.  When a person files false allegations with an agency such as child protective services or a Women’s DV Group, this is DV by Proxy using an agency.  When that agency fails to find or substantiate the allegations, and the person now files false criminal charges in the local courts, this is DV by proxy using the courts.

When a person constantly files motions and veracious litigation causing malicious prosecution, intentional infliction of emotional distress, negligent infliction of emotional distress, perjury, slander, defamation, custodial interference, impede with medical/educational care or even loss of employment, this is Domestic Violence by proxy.  This means that a person does not have to be face to face with their victim to perpetrate Domestic Violence when they can use a proxy to do it.  And this grows their control and abuse by bringing in more people, places and things to abuse the other person with.

Conclusion:

Domestic Violence by Proxy invovles the coercive control of parental alienation through psychological abuse and use of rejecting, terrorizing, corrupting denying essential stimulation, emotional responsiveness, or availability, unreliable and inconsistent parenting, mental health, medical or educational neglect degrading/devaluing, isolating and exploiting.

Or put another way:

Domestic Violence by Proxy exploits others and agencies in causing psychological abuse through parental alienating behaviors to coercively control another human being by rejecting, terrorizing, corrupting denying essential stimulation, emotional responsiveness, or availability, unreliable and inconsistent parenting, mental health, medical or educational neglect degrading/devaluing, isolating and exploiting.

Categories
Coercive Control

When the ‘mean girl’ is a woman: How to deal with an adult bully

When the ‘mean girl’ is a woman: How to deal with an adult bully

By Cathy Alter

June 7, 2021

Thanks to the Queen Bee, I was pushed out of a friend group, disinvited from activities, tarnished by falsehoods and deserted by allies. No, this didn’t happen to me in the high school cafeteria. It was more recently, at a volunteer job I had held for six years. And my bully, let’s call her Carol, is a senior citizen.

According to Simmons, the same attributes that allow girls to be socially intelligent also allow them to be aggressive. “They are drawing from the same skill set,” she says, adding, “Social intelligence is about being savvy enough to understand people and relationships. These are the same skills girls deploy when they launch lobbying campaigns to turn peers into a target, or to figure out just the right insult that will cut someone down.

“Girls tend to use their highly attuned social antennae, instead of their fists, to wage war on other girls,” Emily Bazelon wrote in her 2013 book, “Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy.” “Girls can better understand how other girls feel,” she continued, quoting the work of Scandinavian psychologist Kaj Bjorkqvist, “so they know better how to harm them.”

It’s a lifelong skill. “The same behaviors that worked in childhood still work now,” says Cheryl Dellasega, author of six books, including “Surviving Ophelia” and “Mean Girls Grown Up.” “It’s what’s made them popular, because very rarely were they challenged.” What’s more, she continues, “by going along with the powerful aggressor, you stay with the ‘in’ group.”

Excerpted from: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/wellness/adult-bully-advice/2021/06/03/dffb8fc8-c3c5-11eb-93f5-ee9558eecf4b_story.html